Palagi ko siyang naririnig pero kahit kailan ay hindi ko pa nalaman kung bakit tinawag na undas ang all saints day at all souls day. Basta isang araw nalaman ko nalang na yun pala ang tawag dun dahil yun ang sabi sa tv. Marami na rin akong napagtanungan pero wala rin nakakaalam sa mga taong kakilala ko. Siguro dapat na akong makipagkaibigan sa mga mas matatalinong tao simula sa araw na ito. lol. Ngunit subalit datapuwa't nandiyan nga naman pala ang ever reliable na google na nakakasagot ng lahat ng mga katanungan ko sa buhay. Mga ilang attempts sa pagbuo ng naaangkop na search string ang nangyari bago ako makarating sa isang sagot na nakuntento naman ako dahil nung mga unang sagot na nahagilap ko ang sabi kaya daw undas ang tawag dahil malungkot dahil kapag binaliktad mo ang undas ang lalabas "sad-nu?" leche! anyway pagkatapos sumakit ng bahagya ang aking bangs sa kakornihang yun ay hindi pa rin ako nag give up. kailangan ko malaman ang kasagutan kung hindi'y habang buhay kong tatanungin sa sarili ko ang bagay na ito katulad na lamang nung mga panahong gusto kong malaman kung sino nga ba si Betty Go Belmonte at pano siya nagkaron ng sarili nyang lrt station. ngunit bago ko ipamahagi ang resulta ng aking paghahanap ay nais kong ipaunawa sa mga nagbabasa na ako ay hindi isang eksperto at maituturing na simpleng haka-haka o hula lamang na nagmula sa pinagtagpi tagping kaalaman ang aking nakalap na impormasyon.
Anyway ayun sa aking masusing pagsasaliksik (masusi talaga!) ako ay may natagpuang isang phrase na nasambit ni Lucan isang romanong makata na nakasaksi sa pagtawid ni Emperor Ceasar sa ilog Rubicon "parvi Rubiconis ad undas” na ang ibig sabihin ay "to the waves of [the] tiny Rubicon" kayat ang ibig sabihin ng "ad undas" ay "to the waves". Importanteng malaman kung ano nga ba ang Ilog Rubicon para sa mga Romano noong mga kapanahunan na iyon para maintindihan kung paano ko siya naikabit sa ibig sabihin para sa atin ng salitang ito. Ayon sa batas ng mga Romano ang mga militar ay pinagbabawalang tumawid sa ilog na ito para masiguro ang kaligtasan ng republic laban sa pagkokontrol ng militar. Kaya't nang magdesisyon si Emperor Ceasar na tawirin ito na nagsimula ng pananakop at pagbagsak ng repbublic natanim sa kamalayan ng sangkatauhan ang kaniyang ginawa at nabuo ang idioma na "Crossing the Rubicon" na ginagamit ng mga mamahayag para isalarawan ang isang tao/ gobyerno na gumagawa ng isang mapusok na hakbang o sa makatwid ay "passing the point of no return" sa kalaunan ang "ad undas" ay natranslate na rin as "to hell". Ang kamatayan ay masasabi natin na isang akto kung saan ang isang tao ay pumupunta sa "point of no return" ito na marahil ang maituturing na pinakamalapit na naguugnay sa mga salita't kaisipan na ito.
Kung tama man ako o mali wala akong pakialam basta sa ngayun makakatulog na ako dahil nakumbinsi ko na ang sarili ko na alam ko na kung bakit undas ang tawag sa kanya. Kung ako ay nagkakamali at alam niyo ang tamang sagot ilagay niyo nalang sa comments. Paalam at sanay maging mapayapa ang mga araw ninyo sa darating na undas.
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubicon
( Slightly NSFW )
Anyhoo, thats not really the point of this post. You see as a child, in the hope that I would grow up to be a macho man, my father showered me with loads and loads of GI Joe toys, which i should say that I did enjoy but not really for the way they were meant to be played with, because the thing is my joe boys didnt slug it out with the cobra commander. No, that simply wont do for a sensitive peace loving catholic school boy-(who likes boys)-like me. They have slumber parties, soirees and they go shopping! And thats not all! being the sneaky lil faglet that I was without him realizing it, I have succeeded in making my poor clueless father buy me a female action figure! They didnt notice that she was a girl coz she was in a ninja outfit but if you take a closer look youll see that shes got red nail polish! can you say FEROSH!!!?? although i thought that scarlet and especially the baroness were both hot mommas i really did wish that my most favorite GI Joe action figure was included in the movie -- Jinx.
To the super fierce lady in red, thanks for all the priceless fagotty childhood memories!
I have been told once that some things are better left unsaid. Ive also been known to say that complete honesty is overrated if it will only cause pain and trouble. So why was I doing this? Am I so selfish and thoughtless to cause both of us pain just because I couldnt carry my burden anymore? And what about the burden? The truth that I was weak in the face of doubt. That I am not consistent in my beliefs. That I didnt know anything. That I was scared. My heart was ripping appart as each of them struck him and in pain he told me i betrayed him.
But have I? I am not sure. I am inclined to believe so. I would like to take all the blame and make it all better again take him in my arms and hope he forgets everything. But I knew that once I let them all out I could never take them back even I couldnt ignore their existence anymore the way I have done in the past. I am not sure if what I have done was wrong or right and I am not even sure if I want to be right.I dont think I even care anymore if I was. I only feel the pain of my guilt for my betrayal. For in witholding my doubts and keeping silent I too have betrayed his trust.
But what is trust? is trust the absence of doubt? or is it the overcoming of it? I am hoping it is the latter so that atleast I may have some reprieve for my sin for enduring my doubts for so long and keeping them at bay.
I feel overwhelmed right now like a child who had played with matchstick and discovering I have created a fire I have no control over watching it consume everything I know. I am praying I did the right thing that maybe somehow if we weren't really meant to be this would free us from false bonds and give us a brighter future with the ones we are really meant to be with but my worse nightmare is that I may have destroyed something good in my weakness, in my ignorance.
As with everything else in life. History will be my judge.
I posted this vid on my facebook account and got lots of reaction. Its a video of Willie Revillame and his negative reaction towards the simulcast on split screen of the late former President Cory Aquino's funeral march saying that he felt uncomfortable having a very solemn and sad event being shown side by side with his noon time variety show.
My verdict: it could've been handled better.
I agree with the host for pointing out that what was being done was unacceptable and in my own opinion in bad taste. but I also felt that he could've handled it better. As one person commented in my fb account he could've done it off cam. As the host of the show he also represents the network that employs him and therefore should not speak as a seperate individual (in theory). The network deserves as much from its employed hosts.
But we don't really know whats happening off cam. He may have already objected to this beforehand but was unsuccesful and found that the only way he could prevent this sacrilege was to use his only leverage; his status as the face and voice of the show and ofcourse the hope that public opinion would side with him. If this was the case then I applaud him. But we can only speculate.
Bottom line the network is at fault on this one whatever the scenario may be. Not only does it show a breakdown in communication between the producer of the show, the director/s, the host and the network management but moreso it displays an insensitivity towards the sensibility of its viewers and maybe even to the family of the late president.
But then again they say that media is only the reflection of the people's psyche as evident in one person's comment in my posting "s0 ang skin dAPAt Ang bagy 2lAd ng sinasavi nya ay walang sense!!! at d dpat n pinupuna ksE nga updAted dpt Ang mir0n regard s funeral events like kay late c0ry ryt?" The person believes himself entitled to be updated to every detail of the event no matter what. Even if it meant showing this side by side a circus of sorts.
On my end i dont feel the need to be informed about every minute detail of what happened. In my opinion the media nowadays pushes so many things down our throats that we dont really need to know. What is important is that we get to reflect about what this woman's life was all about. To see the good in it and use it as an example in our own lives, everything else is unimportant.
I asked to borrow my boyfriend’s mobile under the pretense that I wanted to play the games in it while he goes inside the doctors office to have a skin allergy checked. I’ve promised myself I would never do something like this. I repeated to myself what I’ve always told my friends whenever they would share to me problems like these “trust is your gift to yourself it is not for the benefit of your partner but for your own peace of mind” but I was already in too deep. With just a couple more key presses I was in his in box and confirmed that he was back to his old habits. I didn’t even need to look at the exact messages. But I did get to read one it said Nathan 27 Pasay. Three words that spoke volumes of possibilities. I switched back to playing the game and gave him smile as he walked out the doors of the doctor’s office. I never told or asked him about it.
Weeks before that I caught him as I handed him my phone to show him a message from my sister we were at my house, sitting together on the couch, watching tv . He was scrolling through my other messages. Ive always been confident about showing him my phone because I was never a big fan of texting so I rarely correspond using it even with my friends or family much more with complete strangers. But at that time I saw him read the message sent by someone he doesn’t know someone I never mentioned to him although there wasn’t any malice behind me not telling because the texter was a friends boyfriend. He just texted to say that it was nice meeting me. He didn’t ask me about it so I didn’t bother to explain. There was no use in telling him that – although I would consider my friends boyfriend fairly humpable (and that letting him diddle me did cross my mind for at least five seconds while we were getting drunk on sweet red wine in the club and that the possibility of that happening may not be entirely improbable because dear old friend was in Singapore so he asked his boyfriend to meet up with me and our other friends who came home from Australia as his proxy to our bi-annual pseudo reunion) I would never touch a friend’s boyfriend not even with a twelve foot stick! In fact I would even prohibit myself from liking someone if my friend would have a crush on him but then he didn’t need to know about all that because he never asked.
But the strangest of all these was the fact that if he did what I suspected him to have done in retaliation to what he suspected me of doing I would understand and I wouldn’t even blame him. Because I think I may have done something far worse than cheating on him. I think my inability to share my own personal burdens with another living soul may have caused me to push him away so far that right now I cant even find him in my heart anymore.
- Location:home
- Mood:
contemplative - Music:Dancing - Elisa
| You Are a Dreaming Soul |
 So much so that you tend to live in your head most of the time You have great dreams and ambitions that could be the envy of all... But for you, following through with your dreams is a bit difficult You are charming, endearing, and people tend to love you. Forgiving and tolerant, you see the world through rose colored glasses. Underneath it all, you have a ton of passion that you hide from others. Always hopeful, you tend to expect positive outcomes in your life. Souls you are most compatible with: Newborn Soul, Prophet Soul, and Traveler Soul |
For his birthday gift I allowed him to screw me for more than 5 minutes.
Me and the guy I’ve been seeing (for at least 2 months by then) were hanging out at my friend’s place. We we’re watching DVD’s and then afterwards took a dip in the pool for the afternoon. After all the activities my friend got so exhausted that he took a nap on the sofa while we were lying on the bed watching a movie about a guy living with his wife and gay lover. He wanted to do it and has been bugging me the whole day. At first he wanted to do me in the kitchen but I certainly wouldn’t have that. I may be kinky at times but I’m no exhibitionist specially when its a friend of mine who would catch me. I’m sure I’ll never hear the end of it for the rest of my life. And then there were more pressing matters that I wanted to talk about.
I wanted to wait for another time to say it to him but then I know for a fact that it will be a long time before we see each other again with our crazy schedules and all. So i told him why I’ve been having a hard time. Why its been so difficult to me to give my trust. To believe in the things I’m being told. And he told me about why he is so distant. Why he has been rushing me to commit into a relationship. Then I showed him my gift. Lube.
I signaled him to follow me to the shower while my friend was fast asleep on the couch. He immediately started kissing me all over my body as he undresses me at the same time. His lips went lower and lower until he was able to wrap it around the proof of my excitement. Then he turned me around and spread my legs apart as I grabbed hold of a towel rack while his tongue explores me from behind.
Gasping for air I managed to say “you could take your time this once”. I never allowed him (or anyone for that matter) to stay inside me for more than approximately five minutes before because by then it would already be so uncomfortable for me that I would lose all drive.
But it was more than the length of time, or the location that made this session different from the others. The talk prior to it, I guess made us emotionally charged. It was weird and exciting at the same time. He would carry me with my back against the bathroom wall and then down on the tiles of the bathroom floor where he would come and afterwards he would stay inside me as he finishes me off as I sit on his lap and we’re face to face soaked in each others sweat and saliva. It was one of the most passionate sex I ever had.
Five days later he would send me a text message telling me he went back to his ex-boyfriend and that I was just a rebound all that time.
- Music:i HATE THIS pART - pcd
Sometimes sexual tension is even better than sex itself. I myself am a bigger fan of foreplay than the actual coitus. The building up of excitement, the endless possibilities, will he or wouldn't he? would i dare? yes, I'm a sucker for those. So sitting in front of a guy completely dressed trying to come up with something brilliant or even at least witty to say when all i really want to do is ask him to go with me to the rest room of the Star bucks we're in so we can make a go at it, was sheer heaven.
It was the day before my 26th birthday and I didn't have to go to work but then since it was the middle of the week none of my friends were available. Lucky for me a guy I used to chat with suddenly resurfaced out of nowhere. So he was my something to do for that day.
There he was sitting in front of me. He was nice enough to buy me another cup after I already finished the one that I got waiting for him because he wasn't able to leave the office right away. He was far from what I had expected. Clean cut, soft spoken a little bit shorter than me with the preppy get up. Certainly not what you'd expect from a guy who once told me that he likes to bang straight guys up until the point that they would lose all sense of manhood that they wouldn't feel they have the right to sleep with a woman ever again.
I told him this and all he could do was smile and blush ten shades of red. Thats when I knew I had him. So it was a grueling two hours of pretentious albeit profound conversation. As much as I wanted him to discuss with me how he does the pounding that takes away a guy's masculinity I couldn't because the darned place was so crowded and i think the lesbians from the next table were listening in on our conversation. So i had to content myself with the non verbal cues. the searing stares, the lip bites the naughty smirks. In the end it got so frustrating that we had to call it a night.
He did the sweetest thing and waited for me to catch a ride while we were standing across the street from each other. I texted him "what are you doing still standing there?" he replied, "waiting for birthday boy to get a ride.".
In all honesty while I was on the bus home I thought to myself that I was glad that nothing did happen. It would've taken away the sweetness of the moment for me.
But then of course when I got home I quickly sent a message to a guy who lived nearby that I had drunken sex with once on the rooftop of his apartment building. This time around we did it at the part of the rooftop that houses the controls for the elevator, After sex we were sitting on the ledge of the roof deck staring at Makati's skyline as it greeted the morning of my birthday and I told him what I've always wanted to tell him ever since we did it the first time. Puffing on the last stick of cigarette I brought with me I told him "You're not really as good as you think you are."
Now before you start judging me for being mean allow me to give you a brief backgrounder. The guy's a jerk and he's so full of himself thats why I never considered dating him because I would die first before I let anyone see me out with him but then he was a warm body and I was cold on my birthday. I did him a big favor by bringing him down to earth with the rest of us human beings and besides I did let him blow the candle on my birthday cake.
(my birthday was last September so save the greetings for next year guys)
- Mood:
bored - Music:spotlight - jennifer hudson moto blanco remix
I awoke when he got into bed with me. He mumbled an explanation about seeing our friend just like he said he would before he left earlier that night, I didn't bother to ask for details. Just like he always did he laid on his side of the bed with his back facing me and our feet tangled together. It was cold that night and noticing his shirtless back i raised the blanket to cover it. Without warning his hands found its way inside my boxers and grabbed a hold of my sleeping member. Thats the way he initiates sex. I wasn't really feeling up to it that night tired from one whole day of trying to find a new apartment for him to move into but our relationship was on the rocks. I knew that moments like these were few and precious. So I obliged. He suddenly turned and gave me deep hungry kisses. Thats when I knew something was different. He never kissed me that way before. It was always gentle and loving. The way his mouth was pressed against mine it was like he was trying to suck the soul out of me. I ignored the thought and kissed back and felt him guiding me to his chest. I remember him telling me before when we were just starting to see each other that he likes the way I do foreplay comparing me to his then boyfriend who never did it for him. Just as I've always done I showered him with kisses until my mouth found its way to his navel and lower and lower until I raised his legs to let my tongue travel inside him. I looked up to see how I was doing. Then i saw him to discover that his hands were not on me, instead they were on a pillow covering his face. Thats when I knew, I was alone that night.
If it were porn and someone was watching us for the first time they would say that he was just enjoying it too much that he has to grab on to something and even had to put a pillow on his face to muffle screams of ecstasy. I tried to convince myself of that. But the whole time his hands wouldn't reach out for me, wouldn't allow me to shake the thought off my head. I tried to think that maybe it was just one of those times, maybe he was having a Delilah (as in Lilah-dee) moment or maybe its just my turn to be the active top tonight and him the passive bottom. I became so distracted that I wasn't even able to will myself to get inside him. Finally we just decided to finish it with our own hands with him asking me to get on top of him. We were finally face to face but the room was pitch black that I couldn't even see his eyes as I was trying to find reassurance that I was just being paranoid. When he came he gave me the same kiss once again. It was like kissing a stranger. I freed myself from his lips when it was my turn and buried my face on the pillow where his head rests. That time orgasm wasn't the fruition of joy rather a relief from torture.
We didn't shower together afterwards but then again we never do. But when I got back from washing up I did something for the first time myself, I slept with my back turned on him. That was the last time we ever slept together.
- Mood:
anxious - Music:"for your love" by offernissm
| Your dating personality profile: Sensual - You are not particularly shy when it comes to your sexuality. You know what you like and do not feel inhibited. Liberal - Politics matters to you, and you aren't afraid to share your left-leaning views. You would never be caught voting for a conservative candidate. Practical - You are a down-to-earth individual who is not impressed with material excess. You care about the stuff of like that really matters. | Your Top Ten Traits 1. Sensual 2. Liberal 3. Practical 4. Outgoing 5. Funny 6. Adventurous 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Big-Hearted 9. Romantic 10. Intellectual |
| Your date match profile: Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship. Sensual - You aren't looking for someone who is sexually repressed. You want someone who is adventurous under the covers. Wealthy/Ambitious - You seek someone with goals, someone to whom success is important. You would like for this person to open up new experiences and opportunities for you. | Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Outgoing 2. Sensual 3. Wealthy/Ambitious 4. Adventurous 5. Intellectual 6. Funny 7. Practical 8. Athletic 9. Conservative 10. Stylish |
Take the Dating Profile Quiz at Would I Date You
- Location:home sweet home
- Music:Cry for you (dave ramone extended mix)
Loving for me has always been a very difficult and painful process. Not just because I’ve been hurt terribly in my past relationships (who hasn’t) but because it also brings back a lot of traumas I had growing up. Losing my mom as a child for one and then having people I loved and depended on either turn their back on me or disappoint me in some way as I matured. That’s why allowing myself to get attached to anyone has always required an enormous amount of courage on my end for me to be able to let go of all of my fears and take the blind leap and risk getting hurt and relive all those pains of losing loved ones.
A lot of people would wonder why I would even pursue anything like this when everything seem so obviously doomed to fail from the very beginning. We met at a the time his last relationship was just about to end and any person who has gone through the normal amount of reading romance novels and watching tv dramas would tell me that I am just the rebound and once he's over his ex he'll get over me as well but what people don't know is that I was also going through something the time he found me. I was lost and I was trying to find myself at the time. I was feeling very low and felt like i had nothing to be proud of. And yet even though I was at my lowest he still took notice of me and showed me kindness, caring and generosity. We were there for each other although we weren't able to provide any solution or answer to the many problems and questions we had the simple act of being there for each other was enough for us to get through them.
Ive always fallen for guys who have seen me at my worse and yet still took notice of me. It makes me feel that they really do see the real me and would accept it wholly. And it makes me think that since they've already seen me at my worse I can trust that whatever happens they would never leave me. I guess even a hack shrink would see through me that my greatest fear is to be left behind and my greatest attraction are those people, who like my family, even with all our imperfections, know how to stick with you even when you're at your worse.
Thats the kind of love I learned growing up. I don't know much about romance, relationship dynamics or any other relationship mumbo jumbos but I know how to never let go even when I'm hurt, just like the way my family stood by me through all of my selfishness, recklessness even during the times i was just downright mean and evil.
I'm doing the same thing for him right now. Even if i have no assurance of him ever loving me back. Even if its hurting me like hell because i'm not really the most secure person in the world. Even if it means swallowing every inch of pride i have left in me. Even if at times I feel like just giving up. I'm going to show him love the only way I know how.
Pagibig ba ang nagdudulot ng pangangailangan o
Pangangailangan ba ang nagdudulot ng pagibig?
Hinanap ko ang kasagutan
Tinahak ang daan
Sinalubong bawat patak ng ulan
Ang pagibig ba ay ang pagkirot sa bawat pagtibok ng puso?
Ito ba ang pagtalikod sa sarili
Kasama ang pagtalikod sa takot na kay tagal mong pinanghawakan
O ang kasagutan ba ay ang katotohanan ng kinatatakutan
Na ang pagibig ay isang kahibangan at pagtalikod sa katotohanan
Ang patuloy na pagibig sa kabila ng sakit na dinaramdam
Diyos lang ba ang may kakayanan
At para akuin ng isang mortal ay isang kahibangan
Ang katotohanan ba ay ang sakit na nararamdaman?
O kapag pinigil ko ang pagtibok ng puso
Titigil ba ang kirot at ang kasaguta'y makakamtan?
Na ang pagibig ay isa lamang uri ng gamitan
ngunit kung ang tao sa kanyang kapwa ay sadyang nilikha upang mangailangan
ano ang kamalian sa gamitang sa mga tao'y namamagitan
Kung ang pagibig nga ay dulot ng pangangailangan?
Pagod na ang katawan
Pagod na ang isipan
Malayo pa rin ba ang kasagutan?
O dahil lang ba sa akoy umiibig at itoy aking tinalikuran?
Pagibig ba ang nagdudulot ng pangangailangan o
Pangangailangan ba ang nagdudulot ng pagibig?
1. SCHUSCHAL
okay so a friend of mine seem to be surprised that i keep on spelling schuschal (sosyal) the way i do. But from what i really know it is the correct gay spelling of schuschal. so what i did is to google the word schuschal to see if anybody else uses it other than me.
and so i got 54 results! and come and take a look at the first link! SCHUSCHAL talaga!
2. BETTY GO BELMONTE STATION
it simply is the best lrt station there is or actually the best named one. i really cant stop saying it whenever i hear it. "where are now arriving at betty go belmonte station paparating na po tayo sa betty go belmonte station". but ive always wondered who she was and now thanks to wikipedia i atleast have an idea
Betty Go-Belmonte LRT Station, formerly called Boston LRT Station, is a station on the Manila LRT Purple Line (MRT-2). Betty-Go Belmonte station is one of the many elevated stations that can be found on the line. The station is located in New Manila in Quezon City and is named after the incumbent mayor's wife and the founder of The Philippine Star, Betty Go-Belmonte.
The station is the seventh station for trains headed to Santolan and the fifth station for trains headed to Recto. Its nearest landmark is the Holy Buddhist Temple. It links the street of Boston.
3. LUTONG MAKAW (LUTONG MACAU)Now if you take the mrt daily im sure you must've heard this already because the last time i took it this kept on and on when i took the train from guadalupe going to north edsa the chowking "wow macau" ad promo on the train pa system. anyway hearing that over and over again got me thinking of the term lutong macau and so i googled it to try to find out where that saying came from. and this is what i came up with from yahoo answers. several answers actually.
*the term "lutong macau" refers to anything preconceived or planned and is bound to occur. the phrase might be from the local experience that macau chinese are known for their style of cooking and restaurants here who promote that cuisine prepares the ingredients even before it is ordered.
*macau - a province of china formerly under portuguese that is known as the gambling capital in asia. perception is that people in macau are notorious swindlers, con men, game fixers, etc...
when pinoy says "lutong makaw", it means that there is someting wrong or unscrupulous with the transaction from the beginning, it means the transaction was "fixed" already before it was started to give way to a "favored" party.
*I happened to watch a magazine show years ago which featured some of Macau's popular tradition.
One of those is their restaurant's strategy of attracting diners. They would serve free taste of their specialties on the street, so the would-be diners can choose which restaurant to enter. The street is practically flooded with food and drinks, calling not only legitimate customers, but miron as well, feasting themselves on sumptuous meals for free! (nobody won't force them to enter their resto, anyway!)
And when somebody ever ask, they would easily get away by saying "am just tasting your food."
For some it became a habit, embarking themselves to a journey to free dinner!
So we coined the word lutong makaw there,
well planned "meal and alibi". Does it make sense?
Last night ended up being really nice for me. After a humdrum run of the mill day I went home thinking of how boring my life is right now and that nothing seems to be going my way 
recently plus all the other minor drama stuff; lack of lovelife, seemingly leading to nowhere career path etc etc. Although I wasnt particularly depressed there was an obvious lack of mirth. After watching tv for a bit I went to the balcony for a smoke and to my surprise my hydrangeas which was struggling for two days already and was wilting right before my eyes after I got it from tagaytay 2 days ago, was in full bloom again! It was after i changed its spot after remembering that they require partial shade to correct the mistake i made of placing them in an area with too much exposure to the sun. Seeing it drying up the days prior was really disheartening for me so to see it blooming and fighting to survive was really a good thing it reminded me that there is still hope. things might not be working out so well right now but all i really need to do is to find the right spot for me for me to grow and blossom. also it made me realize how appreciating the small details in my life can make an otherwise uneventful day into a happy day rather than focusing on the things that i think are missing.
Who would’ve thought that instead of getting easier it would actually get harder for a person to fall in love/ get into a relationship as one grows older. I personally believe that most of us really just started out wanting someone who will listen to us. Someone who’ll give us that sweetest first kiss, someone we can call our own. But them comes in what other people think you should want in a person. The these’s and that’s, do’s and don’ts and if that wasn’t confusing enough through your own heartbreak or through he experiences of people around you, you begin to learn how to fear getting hurt. You start looking out for those tell tale signs of someone who might potentially capable of breaking that oh-so fragile heart of yours. And as it becomes more and more complex falling in love and relationships starts looking more and more like a tiring exercise in futility rather than what is was originally meant to be; a refuge from the chaos that is life. I sometimes wish I could get back to that blissful state of innocence and naivety when I still had the courage to take the blind leap every time my heart calls out to me, that time when there was no checklist, no jaded memories of past hurt, when I could just freely love whomever with no hesitation. When I could just focus on what really matters. Because at the end of the day we all just want what we wanted when we all started out; someone who listens, who gives us sweet kisses and someone we can call our own.
"Ang itim ng gilagid mo!!! Chakaness!!" that was the exact caption he wrote.
I have fat pics
Sickly thin pics
Drunk pics
even drunker pics (hello beer belly!)
tacky fashion pics from the past
And then of course there’s the fact that its hardly impossible that he was the first person ever to think that I was anything less than beautiful. In the first place I’ve never been the type of person to bank on my looks and I never really considered it as my prime asset. What got me to where I am and all the things I’ve ever been able to do with my life was my brain and industry, what got me my friends is my personality and sincerity and none of those has anything to do with a picture perfect smile.
If Britney wasnt spared from ugly paparazzi pics why should I?
We're all entitled to our ugly unguarded moments.
The dark gums he was talking about is the product of my nicotine addiction which started way back in freshmen year high school and if I were to choose between a toothpaste commercial worthy smile or all those moments that addictive little white stick has gotten me through; late night cramming for exams, theses and research projects, bad break-ups, unforgettable drinking sessions with friends, stressful days at work etc. I wouldn’t trade it for the world!
And why the hell was I smiling so much that my ugly gums were showing? It was because I was with my friends whom I sincerely love and care about and every moment with them makes me genuinely happy which is really more than I could say for someone who spends his time hating on other people (I highly doubt that someone with so much hatred and disdain for the world would have too many friends or true ones at that which is probably one of the reason he has so much spare time for his hate blog)
So to the anonymous blogger whoever you are all I could really say to you is that “KARMA happens and everyone (and yes that includes you sir) gets what they deserve, eventually sooner or later and when your day comes old chap I’m betting that you’re going to wish you could smile the way I do!”
Oh and since I myself am a blogger I could very well understand the driving force behind this cruelty (although I never stooped so low as to use other people) I’ll gladly give him a helping hand for him to finally get what he so sorely craves: attention. So guys, here is the link to this very beautiful person’s site. http://parteeepeople.blogspot.com/ Please show him the love he deserves!
when you think of it pictures really are just a series of lights and shadows caught at a particular angle. a particular combination can either make it beautiful or ugly still subject to the taste of the person looking. I think whats more important is the story behind it.
(Nicked from Pao)
RULES:
Put your music player on shuffle.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
You must write that song name down no matter how silly it sounds!
1. If someone says "Is this okay?" you say?
Do you wanna dance (2007 intro mix)
2. What would best describe your personality?
boogie 2nite (seamus haji big love edit) PWEDE!
3. What do you like in a guy/girl?
Baby when the lights go out (Joachim Garraud & Fred Rister Remix) PAKAK! Swak na swak lang! MANYAK LANG ANG DATING!
4. How do you feel today?
Bleeding Love (Moto Blanco Mix Radio Edit) – HINDI NAMAN AKO INLOVE!
5. What is your life's purpose?
Upgrade u (Edson Pride Radio Mix) – hmm pwede rin!
6. What is your motto?
Give it Away (ClubMix) – HINDI AKO MAYAMAN AH!
7. What do your friends think of you?
Starz in their Eyes (Ashley Beedle Main Mix) – REALLY GUYS??!! Wahaha! Im touched!
8. What do you think of your parents?
Narito – (Jed Madela) SWEETNESS NAMAN!
9. What do you think about very often?
Dreams (DEEP DISH) OI HINDI NAMAN AKO PALA-TULOG!
10. What do you think of your bestfriend?
Gorgeous – (Tracy Young Remix) OFCORZ! ALL MY FRIENDS ARE!
11. What do you think of the person you like?
Just Fine – (Mary J. Blige Moto Blanco Club Mix) yeah simple lang naman type ko eh! Haha!
12. What is your life story?
Knocks Me Off My Feet – Tevin Campbell HMMM GANON?
13. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Escape (Robbie Rivera Original Mix) SO MAKUKULONG AKO TAPOS ESCAPE AKO?
14. What do you think when you see the person you like?
The Return (DJ Coone) GANUN! HINDI OI! IM OVER MY EX”S!
15. What do your parents think of you?
What a feeling – (Peter Luts and Dominico Radio Edit) HINDI NILA MAEXPLAIN KUNG GUSTO NILA AKO I-HUG O SAPAKIN?
16. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Deep Dish (Party All the time remix) CONFIRMED NA ANG FUTURE! PARTY ALL THE TIME! WAHAHA!
17. What will they play at your funeral?
Watchin (Motivo Hi-Lectro Mix) SO YUNG PARTNER KO PALA ANG PAPATAY SAKIN GANUN?
18. What is your favorite hobby/interest?
Apologize (Mixin Marc Remix) MAKASALANAN LANG!
19. What is your biggest fear?
Love Come Down (Evelyn “Champagne” King) OO NA OO NA MAY ISSUES AKO SA LOVE SHET!
20. What is your biggest secret?
Weak (SWV) POETIC LANG! HAHA! OO IM NOT AS STRONG AS I SEEM TO BE!
21. What song will be the title when you repost this?
Feel Alive (Benassi Bros feat. Sandy)
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- www.ilovepumpkinboi.blogspot.com
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